Why activities should not define you?


2nd week of training. The weariness is slowly seeping in.

I did some heat and humidity training yesterday in the late morning. Was looping at the park and clocking in about 14km. By the time I was done, it was already nearly noon.

I was like, wtf did I signed up for this ultra? Maybe it was the heat, or the 74% humidity (excluding the humidity of being encaved in a forest reserve), but damn, it was not easy.

This morning, I finally ran for 3 hours and managed to finished about 27km. Air was humid, and with only 4.5 hours of sleep the night before, I was only looking forward to the coconut water (which is not available in 7-E) and some good ole rest.

With the combination of training fatigue, I have realised that I would need to compartmentalise my life. It is very easy to get cranky when I am tired, and my already very low tolerance for bullshit will be none existent. It will become a 2nd nature for me to bite off the next person I meet if he/she seemed to be wasting my time.

It seemed pretty selfish, doesn’t it?

I also realised that I cannot focus well during training when something is troubling me. It could be conflicts in one of my relationships, or work becomes too much to handle. When that happens, I am not able to exert my best.

So what is the solution?

I need to remember, first and foremost, of my values, my principles, and my philosophy. These 3 items should define who I am as a person. Activities are just an extension of what I do. Running cannot be my sole identity. Nor does my work define me who I am.

It can be very difficult to navigate the different switches as I switched from one setting to the other. I can not expect my non running friends to understand what does it mean to train at 3am in the morning. Nor can my runner friends identify with the enormousity of my work scope.

I would need to try to not let these areas become too much of a venn diagram. The only intersection should only be my values, principles and philosophy. The highs and lows of each area, should stay out of each other.

At least, this is the only way to go at the moment.


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